Happiness is for the lucky

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
the-bitch-who-made-god-cum
plume

OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time!

Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean.

The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

mousathe14

It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.

zarekthelordofthefries

The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.

orjustbecauseyoucould

weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors 

idiopathicsmile

my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog

tryclops
picaso

i am sitting on the couch, i hear tapping on the door behind me, i turn around and see this

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what do i do

picaso

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he is here….

brokuto-koutarous-mom

i still lose it every time i see this post because someone let a fucking goose into their house just because tumblr said to and if that doesn’t perfectly define all of our experiences on this shitty excuse for a website i dont know what does  

silentfreeway

context ruined this post for me. op has pet geese and this was just one of them that was in their backyard.